CHEFUDGING - Guest Post by Mr Martin Schoo

CHEFUDGING

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Origins

Chefudging was founded in mid-2012 during a small window of Black Sea opportunity at the deliciously sinful seaside town of Vama Veche.

Two characters are central to the evolution of the word: a woman and a man.

The woman, a 6-foot-everything human cheekbone with legs up to the ceiling, was recuperating in Eastern Europe after some months of personal hardship. What better way to rebirth than a spontaneous Baptism in a giant inland sea? Little did she know that this, her second visit to Romanian climes, was to produce not only personal but lexical progress.

The man, a 6-foot-infinity angel/special bird hybrid, was returning to his favourite spot for revelry, Vama Veche: the place to dance and unwind in style, where every sentence is punctuated by the opening of another beer. Little did he know that this foreign body was to collaborate with him and his mother tongue in the creation of a life time.

Like the private detective he is, the young Romanian native withheld his English speaking abilities from the foreigner. That is, until they were formally introduced by a mutual friend, vodka.

With her limited command of the language, Rosie (the tall bird) latched on to a certain phrase: Ce faci? (Romanian for ‘How are you?’) The vast network of language-creation cells in her brain went into immediate overdrive. Like a champagne bottle popping its own cork, a new name for an old concept was born.

Vama Veche 'Lunch and Door', 2012

Etymology

From the verb chefudge (its new, and proper spelling) came the noun: chefudgit. The tall bird was a chefudgit. The special bird was also a chefudgit. Together, they chefudgited all over the beach, and torch blazed beyond.

Chefudging in popular culture

While there are indubitably scores of contemporary (often tabloid) trash bags, not all of their number necessarily qualify as chefudgits. This is due to the lack of style in their celebratory decorum. Panache, flair or zeal could possibly help them make the grade, but essentially pure trashiness is not enough to get potential candidates across the line. There must be fervour.

Chefudging throughout history

There have been a succession of chefugits since the dawn of time, whether conscious of this fact or not. Retroactive chefudgits, if you will. Perhaps the first that springs to mind is:

Oscar Wilde, Aldous Huxley, Albert Hoffmann, Sarah Bernhardt, Paul Verlaine, Edie Sedgewick.

Current usage

There are some who would argue that the word chefudge is now one of Romania’s primary exports. The word has spread like wildfire, akin to a more festive version of the bubonic plague. It is heard whispered, muttered, yelled, sung – it can take almost any form, but the message remains the same.

All over the world, people are discovering that they too are chefudgits – and always have been.

The CEO Chefudgit is currently reviewing applications from across the globe. Membership cards will be posted within two weeks, subject to approval.

Summary

In short, to chefudge is to party with style, with endurance, and with no regard for the laws of physics. Central to this state of being is the mantra ‘sharing is caring’, which is fairly self-explanatory.

Semi-chefudging is also an option, but, similar to kmØssed, most doctors recommend the full chefudge for maximum effect.

 Martin Schoo