CHEFUDGING
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Origins
Chefudging was founded in mid-2012 during a
small window of Black Sea opportunity at the deliciously sinful seaside town of
Vama Veche.
Two characters are central to the evolution
of the word: a woman and a man.
The woman, a 6-foot-everything human cheekbone
with legs up to the ceiling, was recuperating in Eastern Europe after some
months of personal hardship. What better way to rebirth than a spontaneous
Baptism in a giant inland sea? Little did she know that this, her second visit
to Romanian climes, was to produce not only personal but lexical progress.
The man, a 6-foot-infinity angel/special
bird hybrid, was returning to his favourite spot for revelry, Vama Veche: the
place to dance and unwind in style, where every sentence is punctuated by the
opening of another beer. Little did he know that this foreign body was to
collaborate with him and his mother tongue in the creation of a life time.
Like the private detective he is, the young
Romanian native withheld his English speaking abilities from the foreigner. That
is, until they were formally introduced by a mutual friend, vodka.
With her limited command of the language,
Rosie (the tall bird) latched on to a certain phrase: Ce faci? (Romanian for ‘How
are you?’) The vast network of language-creation cells in her brain went into immediate
overdrive. Like a champagne bottle popping its own cork, a new name for an old
concept was born.
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| Vama Veche 'Lunch and Door', 2012 |
Etymology
From the verb chefudge (its new, and proper
spelling) came the noun: chefudgit. The tall bird was a chefudgit. The special
bird was also a chefudgit. Together, they chefudgited all over the beach, and torch
blazed beyond.
Chefudging in popular culture
While there are indubitably scores of
contemporary (often tabloid) trash bags, not all of their number necessarily
qualify as chefudgits. This is due to the lack of style in their celebratory
decorum. Panache, flair or zeal could possibly help them make the grade, but
essentially pure trashiness is not enough to get potential candidates across
the line. There must be fervour.
Chefudging throughout history
There have been a succession of chefugits
since the dawn of time, whether conscious of this fact or not. Retroactive
chefudgits, if you will. Perhaps the first that springs to mind is:
Oscar Wilde, Aldous Huxley, Albert
Hoffmann, Sarah Bernhardt, Paul Verlaine, Edie Sedgewick.
Current usage
There are some who would argue that the
word chefudge is now one of Romania’s primary exports. The word has spread like
wildfire, akin to a more festive version of the bubonic plague. It is heard
whispered, muttered, yelled, sung – it can take almost any form, but the
message remains the same.
All over the world, people are discovering
that they too are chefudgits – and always have been.
The CEO Chefudgit is currently reviewing
applications from across the globe. Membership cards will be posted within two
weeks, subject to approval.
Summary
In short, to chefudge is to party with
style, with endurance, and with no regard for the laws of physics. Central to
this state of being is the mantra ‘sharing is caring’, which is fairly
self-explanatory.
Semi-chefudging is also an option, but, similar to kmØssed, most
doctors recommend the full chefudge for maximum effect.
Martin Schoo
